just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
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