but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
i think i scared a bird with my dick
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
Well I found out I was essentially dumped and replaced by a hipster and apparently offered a girl $95 to go out with me. In the spirit of the Olympics I will not be spending any time on the medal stand.
Sometimes while peeing I'll go hands free, put my arms up by my chest and make claw hands, and pretend I'm a new type of dinosaur called Dickosaurus Rex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
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