Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
Ya’ll! My debit card got switched with my boss’ at lunch today (both Red Wells Fargo)....I realized it at whole foods AFTER I ran it for $100 at Vanity Room getting my vaj waxed 🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️. Most awkward IOU ever tomorrow.
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