brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
My dad assaulted a TSA agent this morning. Shut down airport security. Don't tell me that your family is embarrassing.
woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" .
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
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