i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
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My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
what's the name of the guy at the bank you blew to get the lower interest rate?
um. wrong number, but good luck with your loan
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
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Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
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