fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so my 6 year old came home from school and asked me if he was a bastard cause the kids at school called him one, i told him to call them a clit. those parents will hate me
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
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