he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
I'm at a first year old's birthday party and a midget dressed as a cop just showed up. Word is we're going to toss and bowl with him. Updates to come.
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