my house keeper must think I'm a prostitute.
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
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