According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
to be fair i didnt know she wanted to sleep with me
WHY THE FUCK ELSE WOULD SHE DRAG A STRAIGT MAN INTO A VICTORIA'S SECRET CHANGEROOM GODDAMMIT
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