I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
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