I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
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