He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
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I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
I don't care that you had sex on my bed. I care that you used my lollipop condom. I was saving that for a special occasion
It was a special occasion. Your best friend had crazy awesome sex on your bed. Thank you
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
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He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
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