did you get my message about your dog?
no... is he ok?
no, i didn't see him when i was being chased out of your house. check your drive way :( sry
Do you know how easy it would be to shoplift if I was a magician?!
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
Randomize