why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
Ever since I got married, I've become the MacGuyver of masturbation
How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, can't find my socks anywhere....
Yeah, you took a shit in the harbor off a wall, used them to wipe. I'm sure they're still on the beach somewhere if you really want them back
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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