I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
Randomize