please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
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