she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
I just got this text "hi this is Julie, I met you last night in the bathroom. You asked me to text you and remind you that you ate an entire lime, because you figured your sober self in the morning would be confused."
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
Hot guy next to me on the flight lives near my grandparents. There’s a 100% chance I end up drunk and naked in his hot tub
Happy Thanksgiving to me!!!
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