Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
I have straight up perfected the art of amazing manicures with shaky-as-fuck adderall hands. Also, I'm way too proud of this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
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