Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
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