im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
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