I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
Delivery driver perk #327: I just paid for part of the security deposit on my new place in pizza. This oughta be a fun renting experience.
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
Randomize