even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Got a blowie from her in the cab on the way home. Made awkward eye contact with the cabbie who said, and I quote "Keep the mess in her mouth bro", I did so only out of respect
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
The best part about this city is obvious. Someone saw me crouching by a bar pissing in my leftover Panera bread bowl and they just winked.
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
Randomize