Hows this for an invention: a toilet that weighs your poop
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
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