morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
the russians are downstairs with the vodka loudly proclaiming happy birthday america. i don't care if it's the fourth, i care that it's 9 am and they woke me up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
You can't just snapchat me a picture of a pregnancy test and then not answer your phone
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
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