What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
There's a baby duck in my toilet. Fuck you.
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
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