Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
I just feel weird about accepting their wedding invite when I've got a post-engagement video on my phone of him jacking off in my bathroom.
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