Found a waterbottle filled with a bloody mary in my purse this morning. Blacked-out me is always trying to help hungover me, it's so cute.
You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
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I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
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Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
i think im in europe. pls send help
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
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