Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Since you haven't talked to me since the rancid whipped cream fiasco, I'm going to assume we are no longer hooking up. But I need my handcuffs back. ASAP.
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
I traded some nice guy at the bar ten bucks and a pack of cigarettes for his leather jacket. I'm pretty sure I win at life. Whoever is in my phone as Tyler Durden, I thank you.
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
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