I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
So far today I've found 3.5 million dollars in savings. Pretty sure management is gonna start buying me hookers if getting laid has this much payoff
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
Oh my god, are you sexting me while watching the Democratic debate.
100%
Now I'll never know if it was me that got you worked up, or Bernie Sanders' social policies.
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
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