Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
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