escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
I just inadvertently flirted with my coworker's 20-year old son. I've known him since he was 14, yet suddenly he looked different.
You are nothing if not reliable.
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
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