I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
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A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
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I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
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