Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
Randomize