Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
"Grocery shopping" is really just a euphemism for spending $20 on enough frozen food to last 2 weeks and spending the rest of your viable paycheck on alcohol.
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
Literally I woke up the other day and the girl part of me was like “GET CUFFED MOTHERFUCKER” and I went ham on tinder.
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
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