We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
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You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
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