# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
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