i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
Randomize