nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
Just looked at my bank statement. 9 out of 10 transactions on the first page were from 9 different bars. The 10th was for birth control pills at the pharmacy. I need to rethink my lifestyle.
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
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