Im at strip club and am horny
You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
My puke in the shower morning just turned into a puke in the restroom at work afternoon. I'm the human embodiment of dumpster fire.
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
Omg worst high ever. I'm watching Parks and Rec, and all i can think about is how andy, leslie, and tom are my closest friends. Forever alone.
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize