That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
My fucking roommate unpluged my alarm; I pissed on his clean clothes.
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
Randomize