My brain says no but my pants say off.
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
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