Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
In the morning when you read your texts, just fyi you showed up at my house drunk off your ass and shoe less and demanded I go to the bar. You need Jesus.
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
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