my facebook friend requests are always from girls of boyfriends i have fucked, facebook is the worst reminder of shame
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
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