How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
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