Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
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Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
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i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
My vagina is officially offended.
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
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