I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
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