Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
Randomize