I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
Have you ever wanted to murder the Sun? To bring the life-giving fusion reactor to a bitter end because of the sheer agony it brings to your eyes as it keeps you awake. And for waking the birds. Fuck birds.
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
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