You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
Randomize