I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
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