She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
Randomize